Oh hey there, delightful land of fashion bargains. Yes, you – don’t be shy now. I have a bit of a bone to pick with you, and I’ve just got to come out and say it. It’s about your pants. Knickers, panties, undergarments. They’ve gone slightly off the rails (not literally. Although I’m sure you do sell rather a lot of them).
I have been a dedicated fan of your pants for many a year, particularly the style with the generous lacy frill at the top. They’re comfy, affordable and pretty darn cute. In fact, I’ve bought so many pairs that some of them are rather past their best. I decided yesterday that I needed to venture to your store to purchase some more. I’m loyal when it comes to where my buns rest, and it could be in no other pants but yours.
As I wandered into your Manchester lingerie section, I was greeted with mountains of pants. Hooray, I thought – the designs looked gorgeous and there were plenty of lacey trims to pick from. After browsing around for a minute, overhearing some delightful conversations from my fellow Mancunians (“Danni, I don’t care what my knickers look like anymore. I haven’t got time to worry about it, arse is still going to look saggy”) I found the stand I’d been after.
I rummaged through the piles of lace-trimmed delights for a good 5 minutes, and something suddenly occurred to me. My trusty size 8-10 pants were nowhere to be seen. Instead, there were options either side – 6-8 or 10-12 (plus larger sizes following the same pattern).
Now I know that this may sound a little petty, but hear me out. The size 6-8 pants (which I ended up buying) are rather snug – after all, they do have to fit a size 6 bottom at their lowest specification. In comparison, the size 10-12 knickers were considerably larger – makes sense, as they have to fit a size 12 at their highest specification. So you see my problem here – whereas the old middle-ground (for me) 8-10 fit my cheeks like a glove, the others leave me out in the cold. And when we’re talking bums, that’s not a nice place to be.
I understand that your new sizing plan will be to save money, bundling as many size spectrums together as possible, but please consider rethinking this change. My derrière doesn’t want to wave goodbye to your beautiful briefs, but I may have no choice.
Lots of love,